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All humans have emotional baggage, and yet, so many of us are unaware of what we're carrying until we hit a low point, experience a health crisis, or recognise that we're in a painful pattern with our relationships or how we feel about and treat ourselves. Natalie Lue expands her popular blog Baggage Reclaim into podcast form with a weekly show about how to live and love with more self-esteem by unpacking, decluttering and tidying up our excess emotional baggage. It's time to reclaim yoursel ...
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The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
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Ep. 214: We Don't Need To Put So Much Bandwidth Into Keeping Up Appearances
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Natalie talks about how we've been socialised to keep up appearances and why this pretence, whether it's about nothing being wrong or that who we are is not OK, is damaging to our wellbeing and relationships. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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Ep. 213: There's No Need to Try & Meet All of Your Needs On Your Own
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Sometimes we try to 'manage ourselves' too much instead of articulating a need or a boundary. Natalie shares her insights from a recent experience of this and how it's revolutionised her attitude towards her needs and what sets off anxiety. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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Ep. 212: People Can Be More Than One Thing
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Natalie explains why it's time to recognise that people can be more than one thing and stop denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing, assuming and generalising ourselves into feeling stuck because we can't reconcile who we think someone is with other things that don't fit that image. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop…
Natalie explores the unease we experience when we believe that things seem a little or a lot too perfect and what we can learn from it Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
Natalie shares how we can use our awareness of certain habits as a notification that we are anxious about *something* so that we can take better care of ourselves. The Anxiety Sessions | Instagram | Blog | Shop
In the first episode of 2021, Natalie breaks down compatibility, our ability co-exist harmoniously with someone or something. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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Ep. 208: Scope Creep Makes Your Boundaries Beep
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What does a project shifting dramatically, increased work responsibilities or hours beyond what was originally agreed, an overbearing and critical partner who always 'knows best', and someone in a casual relationship thinking and behaving as if they're in an actual relationship have in common? They're all examples of scope creep. Download The Emoti…
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Ep. 207: Let's Be More Truthful About Loneliness
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So many of us have been conditioned to feel shame about loneliness and to misunderstand what it is and why we and others experience it. Natalie talks about shifting our perception of loneliness and how to understand our own loneliness experiences so that we can break out of any habits that fuel it but also be more supportive of others. Download The…
Some of us are waiting to have sex. It might be until marriage, it might be until the relationship has reached a certain point, it might be that we haven't had it yet and so we're waiting to trust someone enough to. Natalie talks about what we need to be mindful of if we are waiting and some of the issues we can come up against. Instagram | Break T…
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Ep. 205: Four steps to assertively communicating what you want to do
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The trap that so many of us fall into when we recognise our discomfort or that we don't want to do something is having a passive response. Natalie shares four steps for having a more assertive response that allows you to feel good about yourself and evolve your boundaries. How To Say No: The Scripts Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog…
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Ep. 204: Let's Talk About Family Estrangement
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Natalie talks about a subject that many people grapple with but often feel ashamed. Even if estrangement isn't something you've dealt with, this episode is also about how we need to update our perceptions of family and be empathetic and supportive of people who have a less than 'great' family experience. The Intuition Sessions Instagram | Break The…
Natalie does a deep dive into a subject that creates a level of discomfort in a lot of humans to answer a question that befuddles so many of us even though we put so much effort into trying to enjoy the benefits of intimacy or avoiding it: What is intimacy? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership…
It's 2020, and yet, so many of us have a confusing, complicated and even shameful relationship with sex that causes us to be and do things that don't reflect who we really are or what we really want. In what will be the first of several episodes over the coming weeks and months about sex, Natalie talks about why we need to evolve our relationship w…
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Ep. 201: Who were you 'getting to know' over those texts?
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While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been heightened by the pandemic, thanks to it limiting our social interactions. Natalie talks about the importance of managing our imagination and expectations so that we don't end up falling for a hologram…
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Ep. 200: The One Where Nat and Em Hang Out
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To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea for the show!), her husband, Em. Using questions from listeners, they give a little insight into their relationship, including how they met, how they knew they were each other's 'one', and overcoming co…
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Ep. 199: Yes Isn't A 'Clean' Word If It's Not Authentic
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Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you really are. How To Say No: The Scripts Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 198: Perfectionism and The Idealised Version of Ourselves
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We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how being disconnected from and not appreciating our actual real self in the pursuit of the idealised version can lead to problems and pain. The Perfectionism Sessions Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Cou…
Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red flags' as code amber and red alerts help us to get grounded and acknowledge whether we're going against ourselves, ignoring incompatibility, or are in danger. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course |…
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Ep. 196: Taking Things Too Personally
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Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways that don't reflect who we are in the main. Natalie talks about why this happens and how to break the habit. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership…
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Ep. 195: When 'Nice' Covers Up Anger and Control
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Sometimes, how we feel on the inside doesn't match what we're doing on the outside. We act what we think is 'nice' as a way to suppress and repress ourselves. In other instances, we encounter someone who seems 'nice' but they cross our boundaries or we feel what we think is 'irrationally' annoyed, resentful or frustrated with them and can't put our…
Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. **Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th September. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried Communication
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Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compassion, congruency, clarity, ownership and grace--to help us see the wood for the trees and build our confidence with communicating who we are through healthier boundaries. Instagram | Break The Cycle On…
So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feeling bad about ourselves and avoiding healthy boundaries and self-care leads to resentment and unhealthy relationships. Natalie talks about what's really going on with our perpetual guilt. Instagram | …
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Ep. 191: About Defining The Relationship
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Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about why defining the relationship conversations don't have to be so awkward and scary. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership…
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Ep. 190: Did I scare them off? Was it my Jedi mind tricks?
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Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation to become. Natalie delves into why we languish on the notion that we scared something or someone away. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Me…
Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks down why we mistake 'chemistry' for emotional disturbance and shares tips for breaking the habit to forge healthier relationships. Instagram | Break The Cycl…
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Ep. 188: The Landmarks of Healthy Relationships
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How do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, consistency, intimacy and progression. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 187: The Lather, Rinse, Repeat of the Frustrating Dating Cycle
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When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if what's causing the lather, rinse, repeat is a couple of particular blind spots that keep setting us up for disappointment? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership…
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Ep. 186: Following Through On Intentions & Words With Action
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Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
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The Emperor Has No Clothes On: Let's Talk About Gaslighting
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There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares examples and how to recognise it, plus she explains why we mustn't normalise gaslighting and let it go unchecked. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course …
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Ep. 184: 'Why Am I Feeling OK?' and Other Worries
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Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships
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When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometimes secret) relationship mixed with a complicated friendship. Natalie talks about some of the sources of hurt and misunderstanding in casual relationships an…
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Ep. 182: Your 'Worthiness' Isn't To Blame
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What if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent light-bulb moment and talks about why we have to stop telling ourselves the lie that our worthiness is to blame. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership…
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Ep. 181: Unsatisfactory Endings and Closing The Story Loop
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Humans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Natalie talks about how our desire to close loops can cause us to do things like seek validation, wait for a call we didn't want or to feel as if the 'bad guy' won. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Cour…
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Ep.180: Time For A Second (Or Umpteenth) Chance?
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When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this. But sometimes, despite what we know, we look to give a second (or umpteenth) chance. Natalie breaks down what's really going on in these situations so that when we do give (or receive) chances,…
When an ex who didn't treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying 'all the right things', it's all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Before we plot our fairy-tale ending or abandon opportunities, our current relationship or even ourselves and the growth we've experienced since the relationship ended, let's check ourselves. Instagram | Courses…
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Ep. 178: About Allowing You To Feel Angry
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So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ourselves to feel angry is critical to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing, and why acknowledging our 'silent rage' helps us to be more aware of our people-pleasing. Instagram | Classe…
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Ep. 177: Discomfort and the Time-Off Thermostat
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What's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, especially when it means that we might feel and think more than our typical way of life allows for. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 176: Voicing Issues To Be Better Than Before
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Natalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we need to express difficult emotions or thoughts, we sometimes decide to keep it to ourselves so that we don't hurt the other party's feelings or ourselves. But the moment we do this, we're blocking intima…
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Ep. 175: Hard Resets, Anxiety and Corona Miracles with Exes
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What do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natalie shares some thoughts on navigating anxiety and uncertainty. She also digs into some questions/situations that have cropped up thanks to Coronavirus: Do I have to check up on people/family? My ex rea…
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Ep. 174: Let's Not Be Cool With Taking Advantage Or Being Taken Advantage Of
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Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about why even though we can do something, like keep messing with someone who is way more into us than we are, it doesn't mean that we should. Instagram | Events …
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Ep. 173: It's Time To Talk About Stonewalling
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Have you ever experienced stonewalling in a relationship (or possibly engaged in it yourself)? In another episode about understanding and improving communication in our intimate relationships, Natalie breaks down stonewalling including delving into three common scenarios: Shutting down expressing of feelings, thoughts and concerns. Using stonewalli…
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Ep. 172: It's Okay To Not Know What You Want
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Natalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want if you're not listening to and meeting your needs. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
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Ep. 171: Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
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Meeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area of our life, this sometimes also causes us to wonder 'When are things going to go wrong?' Natalie talks about the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership…
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Ep. 170: Conflict & The Five Stages of Relationships
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Something that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship framework to explain conflict and how it's part of deepening intimacy in relationships and becoming more self-aware. *Please note*: The correct date for the New York workshop mentioned in the episode is M…
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Ep. 169: 'They journal/meditate/do yoga/go to therapy. Shouldn't they be more emotionally intelligent?'
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Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered because of self-care practices they engaged in. Natalie explains why just because someone journals, meditates, goes to yoga or therapy, it doesn't mean that they're super emotionally intelligent, really go…
Have you ever freaked out about something, noticed that you are, continued to freak out somewhat, but then calmed down? That's what happened to Natalie recently when her daughter had to prepare for five exams in one day. She shares lessons from that experience, including why we panic about "failing" at a decision and this notion that our younger se…
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Ep. 167: Beep Me 911 - Why didn't you text back?
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Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last online, seeing someone type and then pause, and seeing their likes on social media while you await a reply, it's pretty easy to destroy our inner peace. But what about when you're experiencing this whil…
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Ep. 166: We've Got To Stop Pumping People Up With Our Great Expectations
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Trying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we have to strive to do less of to heal, grow and learn. What Natalie highlights in the first episode of 2020, though, is how part of what keeps us stuck in this disappointment cycle is that, sometimes, the…
Natalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance. Instagram | Events | Blog | MembershipBy Natalie Lue
