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Welcome to Cinephobe: The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
 
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Gauging The Cage

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Gauging The Cage

George Service, Matthew Wright

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Best buds George Service and Matthew Wright dive head first into the illustrious career of legendary actor Nicholas Cage. With the task of watching and reviewing in chronological order the films of Nicolas Cage, past, present and future with the sole purpose of answering the question: 'Nicolas Cage, good or bad?' A film review and life lesson all at once. What more could you ask for? A film review and a life lesson at the same time. What more could you ask for?
 
Are you dazzled and mystified by the works of America's Acting Treasure, Nicolas Cage? Your two brotherly hosts, Josh and Alex, certainly are. So much so that they made a podcast all about the man. Every episode features a brief guest interview* with Nicolas Cage himself. Yes, the real Nicolas Cage, for sure! Join the brothers and a variety of special guest stars from poets to professional ding dongs every week as we desperately try and get un-Trapped in the Cage with Nicolas Cage. That sent ...
 
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This week on the podcast, Screen Junkies writer and Binge Boys host Lon Harris joins us for another case study for why the mid-2000s were so good for Cage, and so. very. bad for Travolta: Lord of War and Be Cool! In Andrew Niccol's Lord of War, Cage plays an unscrupulous arms dealer with a calculator where his heart should be, tracking him through …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are second to nun as they close out Whoopi Goldberg month with some joyful joy. When an administrator on the brink of retirement threatens to shut down the podcast and turn it into a parking lot, only one thing can change his mind: winning the all state podcast competition. Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast about Success…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting cocaine in the cookies for a podcast that exudes a beautiful simplicity, savage, ruthless, existing only to devour and destroy, to taste blood, to rend flesh. It will be your worst nightmare unless you give us the meecrofilme, but if it's tingling, that means it's working. Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast ab…
 
This week on the podcast, Nathan and Clint go it alone for this double feature about AmErIcAn HeRoEs - National Treasure and Ladder 49! First is National Treasure, one of Disney's most successful post-Pirates bids to chase the big-budget family-friendly adventure dragon. This time, the theme is America, with Cage as a boy-scout adventurer determine…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to Italy after winning a contest to name a chicken sandwich, where through a series of events they drop their podcast in a basket and it floats away down the river. Years later, their podcast has been raised Italian, having never known its true heritage. Mamma Mia! Will Homie Spumoni discover his roots in time for the ho…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes have been selected as honorary podcasters for the struggling New York Knicks. After quickly assessing the core personal issue plaguing each individual member of the team and solving them one at a time, it all comes down to the last game of the season to decide who becomes the 8 seed in the playoffs. This movie invented the play…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by comedian Brad Williams on their quest to reach the Las Vegas Hip Hop Café. The Leprechaun is eerily comfortable in the hood, smoking the bombest weed, banging the flyest zombie fly girls, and murdering anyone in his path before spitting bars (o'gold) over dope beats. Is there pussy in heaven? Follow Brad: @funnybr…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are amnesiacs with troubled pasts and very particular sets of skills, having trained with a master in the art of podjitsu. Their skills are put to the test when they become embroiled in army corruption involving an arms dealer who just happens to have a world class ninja facility on his compound. Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' T…
 
We’re back after another short hiatus! This week, Daily Grindhouse’s Preston Fassel joins us to talk about two films featuring our heroes in erstwhile dysfunctional families: A Love Song for Bobby Long and Matchstick Men! In Love Song for Bobby Long, Travolta plays the titular Southern-fried English professor, a hard-drinking, hard-living man deali…
 
WHOA! PRIMO PODCAST DUDES! Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of mutagenic podcasters with different colored bandanas that love pizza. So hold your canister of ooze up high in the air, give me 10 flips and repeat after me: GO NINJA GO NINJA GO! Vote in this month's poll Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast about Succession Season 3 and more…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed back to Hong Kong for a secret contest where the world's greatest podcasters fight in a battle to the death. From the longest flashback in the history of Cinephobe to a bevy of roundhouse kicks, uppercuts, sleeper holds and bloody faces, this episode sets multiple world records, including fastest Phile at 72 mph. Joi…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back at the Road House for the triumphant return of Stugotz from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, who rides into town to mentor us on the key components of classic cinema, action packaged around a love story with all the elements necessary for a complete movie going experience. Amin phobed this movie. Learn more about y…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the best damn podcasters in the business, and they've been hired to clean up the kinda podcast where they sweep up the eyeballs after recording. Equipped with nothing but degrees in philosophy and dossiers full of exposition, they'll tangle with local big shots, flirt with hot doctors, and reconnect with old mentors set to …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes rise from the dead to roam the desert, seeking vengeance on the men that desecrated the woman they loved. Not even the sisters of San Diablo, the townsfolk of Enoch's Hammer, or a young hero named Fabolous are safe in this bloody romp. Ever wondered what movie Wesley Snipes was making when he was accused of tax fraud? This is t…
 
Zach, Amin, Mayes and repeat offender JuJu Gotti are members of a sleeper cell of Nightstalkers that keep the world safe from vampires. Blade will need their help as he faces his greatest challenge yet: An indie film actress, professional wrestler and Canadian rapper united to form an unholy triumvirate that want to turn the human race into a farm …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are sucked up into the sky out of Duckworld only to land smack dab in the middle of Cleve Land. This diminutive duck isn't afraid to ruffle a few feathers as he meets a girl and tries to get a job, but when intergalactic demons follow him to Earth it's up to the farfetched fowl and his quack team to save the day. Learn more abo…
 
Zach, Amin, and Mayes are joined by repeat offender Roy Bellamy, producer of the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz, on a cross country flight that has been commandeered by the international terrorist known as the Rane of Terror. Other passengers include a bowl cutted kid who forgot his decorder ring, a grandma that loves the Arsenio Hall show, and sec…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes fast forward to 2025, when all memories of Covid have been erased by the new sensation charting to the top of the Popularity Index, FUTURESPORT! This cutting edge game combines hoverboards, useless goalies, hockey pads, quidditch, the electric chair and tubas into one fast paced, high scoring game that is so impactful, the fate…
 
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike are headed to Jamaica in the thrilling conclusion to the epic bartending bromance. Complications abound as young Flanagan falls in love and Coughlin discovers that marrying for money doesn't stop fancy bars from being a money pit. Meet us for happy hour at Cocktails & Dreams. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaph…
 
This week, we're dealing with a decidedly idiosyncratic double-feature, with We Hate Movies perennial Stephen Sajdak along for the ride! First, there's the 2004 version of The Punisher, the Tom Jane-led throwback to 70s action movies mixed with the best 2000s buttrock post-9/11 society had to offer us. Oh, and Travolta's there as a sleepy, uninspir…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are ripping it up at TGI Fridays with the help of their very own Cuba Libre, the Le Batard & Friends Network Executive Producer Mike Ryan! Part 1 of this podcast tracks Tom Cruise's meteoric rise through the NYC cocktail scene, flippin' bottles and flingin' ice cubes behind three feet of mahogany while his Australian mentor spo…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes woke up married and are under court order to record together for six months. Whether you make a plan to make plans or aren't serious boyfriend/husband material, are a Chonger or a Banger, take a trip to the podcast where you can forget all your troubles and act like a total idiot. What happens here, stays here. Learn more about…
 
Zach and Mayes answer a bunch of user questions about favorite and least favorite episodes, how they would fix previous Cinephobes and make them good movies, which characters they want to exist in real life and so much more. Also Cinephobiacs Julian and Mike join the show to talk about their experiences listening to the show. Learn more about your …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes have suffered concussive head trauma, waking up up with the ability to read men's minds. Haven't you always wondered what men were really thinking? Thankfully this movie is here to tell you that men think about sex, money, sex, sports, sex, how to pronounce croissant, sex, and the Piña Colada song. We made this bespoke podcast …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are Diamonds in the Rough in this turn of the 20CB bromantic comedy. Complete with a killer soundtrack, copious Neil Diamond references and flashback exposition, this movie teaches us that whether your field is psychology or pest control, at the end of the day you're just helping people. CMONNAYEHHHHH-HAAAA! Learn more about yo…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes close out Travolta month with a classic film noir full of deception, intrigue, exposition and clichés. A private investigator is dragged back to his hometown of Galveston by a beautiful woman with a sob story, where he finds that everyone he knows has become influential and dangerous. Beware the roses, they're poisonous. Learn …
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are pregnant AGAIN in this sequel released barely a year after the first one and was certainly not a cash grab, in case anyone's asking. If you've ever used your screaming children to get free stuff or convinced them that Mr. Toilet Man wants to eat your pee pee, then this movie about the struggles of co-parenting and keeping i…
 
This week on the podcast, we’re joined by film critic Robert Daniels (of 812filmreviews and a contributor to RogerEbert.com, NY Times, Vulture, and others) to break down an exceedingly strange double feature in our heroes’ oeuvre! First up is Basic, the final film to date from John “Die Hard” McTiernan, which sees John Travolta return to the milita…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are struttin the streets of New York in this perplexing follow up to John Travolta's breakout role in Saturday Night Fever as dancing sex god Tony Manero. Tony won't let anything get in the way of his dream of Broadway fame, not objectification from women, his dingy residence, dismissive agents, his own psychosis or Frank Stall…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes don't need a permit to podcast about Superhero movies as they close out June with this pick selected by the fans. In order to save the city, they'll deliver babies, build a lair out of repurposed appliances, and take down satin suited mobsters infiltrating the government. Thankfully, this podcast is Bulletproof, otherwise they'…
 
This week, Nathan and Clint go it along for a decidedly humdrum double feature in Travolta and Cage’s careers — the early-aughts slumps Domestic Disturbance and Windtalkers! In Domestic Disturbance, Travolta squares off against a sleazy Vince Vaughn (still knee-deep in Gus Van Sant Psycho modes, channeling his blue-collar menace) as the latter weas…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes have been recruited into the League of Expository Podcasters for this turn of the century dieselpunk superhero romp. Whether you're invincible, invisible, a blood thirsty vampire or just keeping the demons inside of you at bay, board the Nautilus and see just how deep we can dive into the depths of terrible movies before we nev…
 
For this week’s decidedly strange double feature, YouTube video essayist extraordinaire Patrick H. Willems hops into the driver’s seat as we gawk at the baffling combination of Swordfish and 2003’s Christmas Carol: The Movie! First, we put on our wraparound sunglasses and low-rise jeans to time-warp back to the gossamer pre-9/11 months of 2001, whe…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are breaking out the 2,000 year old bottles of wine and french accents for the first sequel in Cinephobe history where we actually watched the original first. The boys are back in the Cage to team up with a black french alcoholic priest that's kind of a dick to help the devil's baby mama save her son. Learn more about your ad c…
 
Zach and Amin's segment from last weekend's LeBatard Show 24 hour live stream marathon. First they interviewed Method Man about How High and more, then Adam McKay and Neal Brennan chatted about politics and comedy, while occasionally discussing the 2009 film The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard with the guys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are fresh out of the joint and headed straight to a casino for the heist of the holiday season. Grab your goddamn hot chocolate and some pecan fuckin pie, raid the mini bar, order some pay per views and listen to the only podcast that has both Coke AND Pepsi. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes continue to search for the kryptonite that will weaken this podcast enough to kill it. This foray into the Snyderverse may well be our Doomsday, so grab your mason jar of granny's peach tea, jump in the bath fully clothed, and settle in for the ultimate edition of this podcast. Am I too soon? Learn more about your ad choices. V…
 
Allie Reinmann joins me as the second round of the Martial Arts Tournament Movie Movie Tournament kicks off and we find out which movie is moving to the semi-finals from the JCVD region as The Quest takes on Bloodsport. Get the bees! Theme song: I dunno by grapes Ft: J Lang, Morusque dig.ccmixter.org/files/grapes/16626…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are deep core podcasters charged with blowing up an asteroid the size of Texas before it destroys the Earth. They'll have to overcome an unhinged Russian cosmonaut, Space Dementia, a sentient growling asteroid, Explosition and Ben Affleck to complete their mission before the countdown clock runs out. Baysplode! Learn more about…
 
Greetings, rat-brains! This week, we welcome puny man-animal Alonso Duralde for a double dose of religious-themed mayhem: Travolta’s Scientology-adjacent epic Battlefield Earth and Nic Cage’s erstwhile Christmas dramedy The Family Man! Battlefield Earth has long carved out a place as one of the great so-bad-its-good classics, as L. Ron Hubbard’s ga…
 
Zach, Amin and Mayes are podcast assassins after Jeremy Piven's heart for the punchline of $1 million. It's a death race to the penthouse of a Lake Tahoe hotel, where coke addicted magician Buddy 'Aces' Israel is waiting to get smoked. Will anyone make it out of the elevator alive? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
 
Justin Perez joins me for the Martial Arts Tournament Movie Movie Tournament as we finish out the first round with DOA: Dead or Alive vs Mortal Kombat. This one gets crazy when a surprise third entrant joins the mix. Who is this new challenger? Will they prevail? There's only one way to find out! Get the bees! Theme song: I dunno by grapes Ft: J La…
 
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