show episodes
 
On Sex, Love, and Addiction, Dr. Rob Weiss, sex therapist and author of ten books on sex and relationship healing, interviews global experts like Dr’s. Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Stan Tatkin, and Helen Fisher, among others. This podcast features robust discussions focused on healing from chronic infidelity, cheating, porn, and sex addiction, along with the pain of relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 25-year licensed th ...
 
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married ...
 
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show series
 
In their own addictions, recoveries and healing, and working with people all over the world, Mark and Steve have come to understand an "unholy triad" that decimates marriage: Pride; Shame; and Trauma. In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and real about how these three HUGE challenges can derail our most cherished relationships and how to begin mo…
 
Dr’s. Ginger and Bill Bercaw are the founders of The California Center for Healing in Pasadena, CA. The Bercaws are nationally recognized relationship and sexuality experts, appearing regularly on Access Hollywood Live and Fox News as well as being Huffington Post columnists and cited in Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Maxim, and the LA Times. Drs. Gin…
 
With so many dominant influences from Hollywood, the mainstream media, pornography and the role models we were raised with, there's a LOT of confusion about what it really means to "man-up." It's NOT the "macho/sexual-prowess" stereotype the culture often tends to promote. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk open and real about their own experienc…
 
Kristin Snowden is a specialist in helping clients recover and heal from addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma, loss, and relationship challenges (namely infidelity and divorce). Kristin has seen women come into her office completely unsure why they feel depressed, why they feel lost, why they feel so broken. And upon further investigation, it’s b…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve come from a very heart-felt place in speaking to the women who may find themselves "stuck in the pain of Betrayal Trauma." This is actually a very common struggle for many in early or even ongoing healing and recovery. Mark and Steve discuss— - How the "grieving process" is a necessary part of facing pain and beginni…
 
Rob and Tami discuss how to best keep boundaries with your mother, how to work through betrayal as a betrayed spouse in a way that encourages your addict to be honest with you, and Rob explains how sexuality works and why you might be attracted to men vs. not. TAKEAWAYS: [0:45] How can I communicate my boundaries without making it into a threat? [7…
 
Mark and Steve produced this episode in response to a PBSE listener's question— Hi Guys! Would it be possible to talk about entitlement in an episode? I feel like many men struggle with a sense of entitlement for sexual pleasure and/or being "serviced". I know for my husband and many of his friends, the belief is that if they aren't getting it from…
 
This episode starts with Mark and Steve getting super raw about how lying was a big part of their addiction years and early recovery. - There are MANY "layers of lies" that can be obvious or very subtle; active lies or passive ones. - Why do addicts tell lies? And why do spouses often have struggles being totally open and blunt about what they're f…
 
Rob and Tami dive into whether you can rewire your sexual tastes after being exposed to hardcore porn. They also discuss how to have a successful open relationship (when you’re not an addict) and so much more on this week’s episode! TAKEAWAYS: [0:30] Can I rewire my sexual tastes? [6:10] I don’t think I can handle my partner relapsing. What can I d…
 
Mark and Steve get personal and talk about how, for much of their lives, they lived in "victim mode" and ran around spouting off cliches like, "I'm a realist," and "It is what it is," and "Things never change, so why bother?!" As CRAZY as it sounds, much of our TRUE POWER resides in this bold claim: "Acceptance is the answer to many of life's probl…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal "God journeys"—how God operated in their lives BEFORE recovery and healing (crazy dysfunctional!)—and how their God relationships evolved in ways that literally "saved" their lives and marriages. Maybe in your individual and couple recovery and healing you could use a personal "…
 
When things have been going well for awhile in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing, there can be a temptation to relax the boundaries we've agreed to. This can also seem like a viable option when things are continuing to fall apart in the relationship. In either situation, experience tells us that the BEST chance your marriage has is wit…
 
Kelley Gunter is an internationally acclaimed speaker, life coach, and author of the memoir, You Have Such a Pretty Face. She is a survivor, emotional warrior, and a woman in recovery who is unafraid to tell her truth. She went through a 243lb weight loss journey and opens up about her multiple addictions in this week's episode. If she can get thro…
 
We live in a culture that can easily tend to make physical/sexual attraction the "be all, end all," in marriage relationships. In this episode, Mark and Steve share their own raw and real marriage experiences in relation to this poignant and difficult topic: Sexual passion/attraction is a force that "acts upon us." On the other hand, "Love" is a fo…
 
Our most DIFFICULT conversations can also be the most CONNECTING! In this episode, Mark and Steve get raw and real about WHY we avoid difficult and uncomfortable conversations and HOW we can turn these situations into TRUE CONNECTION! If you're a couple where many or most of your hard conversations turn negative and divisive, this episode will help…
 
Porn addiction, Betrayal Trauma and other challenges can plunge us hopelessly into a seemingly perpetual pattern of Negative Relationship Patterns! This constant negativity wears us down until we can't see EVER having a happy, connected, fulfilled relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve speak from personal marriage experience, as well as year…
 
It's natural to avoid pain--that protection mechanism is built directly into the human brain. BUT, "pain avoidance" often creates and then feeds Addiction. And it can also keep us trapped in Betrayal Trauma. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about HOW to STOP avoiding pain and actually start Embracing and Learning from it! Perhaps pain is the so…
 
Jenna Riemersma is the Clinical Director of The Atlanta Center for Relational Healing. She is a teaching faculty member for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Jenna holds a Master's degree in Public Policy from Harvard University and a Masters’ Degree in Professional Counseling from Richmont Graduate Universi…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve address the questions and concerns of one of the PBSE podcast listeners. As the spouse of an addict in recovery, this listener brings up the very legitimate concern— As a sexual addict in recovery, should my husband be having an "attraction and chemistry" toward other women? How can he possibly do this without crossi…
 
What happens when there is a "Pornography Addiction Relapse"? The Fallout of Relapse— For the Addict: Hopelessness, shame, resignation, apathy, "Eeyore mode"—emotional volatility and variability. For the Spouse: Often forced to be the absolver and confessor—she feels like she must set aside her pain to be there for him, or feel like she is insensit…
 
- Learn how to “let go” of Your Spouse’s Healing - Instead of focusing on what she is or is not doing—put all your energy into YOUR recovery. - You can’t “undo” trauma or “fix” your spouse. The best thing you CAN do is CHOOSE to break free from addiction. - The best chance to “save your marriage” is to work your own recovery! - Clear Setting AND Ad…
 
Addiction and Betrayal Trauma can easily plunge us into the "Victim Trap"! In this dark place, it is nearly impossible to progress on our paths of recovery and healing. In in episode which is "Part One," Mark and Steve discuss— - How being distracted by your "partner's stuff" and drained by his or her issues leaves you no energy to work on your own…
 
Two of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is: "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions— How do I regain her trust? The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in…
 
Dr. Jamie Marich is an EMDR therapy master trainer and the author of several books including, Trauma and the Twelve Steps and Trauma Made Simple. On this week’s show, Dr. Jamie discusses the healing process between the Twelve Step program and addressing your trauma. She also discusses her philosophy with the Twelve Step program and why it’s importa…
 
Discovering your spouse has a porn/sex addiction triggers Betrayal Trauma and SHATTERS trust! HOW can you ever get to the place where you can "trust him again"? Mark and Steve share insights from their own marriages and their experiences helping women and couples over the last 20 years— Validating your own PAIN is a crucial first step True empathy …
 
Michelle Holleman is a Sex Addiction Therapist based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. Michelle councils pre-teens and teenagers about their porn addiction habits and teaches children the difference between reality and fiction. Young children are being exposed to porn and it can deeply impact their brain. Michelle shares seven tips parents can use …
 
For any relationship to last and thrive, there must be "boundaries." This is especially true when you're dealing with Porn Addiction and Betrayal Trauma! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about "boundaries in the marriage relationship"— If we love each other, why do we need boundaries? Love shouldn't be restricted-right? WRONG! Love…
 
Dr. Louise Stanger is an Ivy League Award winner (2019 Interventionist of the Year from DB Resources in London and McLean Hospital – an affiliate of Harvard), educated social worker, popular author, internationally renowned clinician, interventionist and speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, process disorders, and chronic pain. In this…
 
This episode is "Part Two" of the interview with Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, who tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. In this second half of the interview, Todd talks about how he moved from "ME" in addiction to "WE" in real recovery—How to shift your attitude from "me-centered" to "we-centered" and build …
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve address an issue submitted by a PBSE listener— Hi Guys! My husband loves your podcast. It's the only he will listen to openly. I loved your topic today "Healthy Sex vs. Toxic Sex in Marriage." You talked about lust and I found that topic to be very relatable. Is it possible to discuss how lusting can cause issues in …
 
Troy L. Love is a two-time Amazon Best-Selling Author and has a third book, A Year of Self-Love, which was published in 2019. Troy shares why we feel such deep shame and dives into the six attachment wounds we carry around after a traumatic childhood. He also helps visualize these six attachment wounds through characters to help people in recovery …
 
Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. Todd also talks about how being convinced from a young age that he had to "earn love," was a BIG part of what led him to and kept him trapped in addiction! Tune in next week for "Part Two"! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counse…
 
Lulu Cook is an expert in eating disorders and food addiction. She is a coach and dietitian. Lulu helps her clients feel good about their emotional and physical health. Food addiction can show up in many ways and it can be a big struggle to stop binge eating. Lulu provides information on why people typically develop eating disorders, how to best re…
 
In this episode Mark and Steve openly discuss the differences between healthy and toxic sex in marriage— What are the differences between a healthy sex drive and a lust/fantasy focus in marriage? You can trigger the "addiction cycle" or the "connection cycle" through the sexual relationship in your marriage—which one do you want? What do you know i…
 
Mark and Steve know from personal experience and helping others, just how heavy, difficult, exhausting and discouraging addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing can be! In this episode they tackle this common issue head-on— - How you and your spouse can honor and embrace your pain and feelings without allowing them to derail your recovery and…
 
We live in a world where honesty is a steadily shrinking virtue! Many in politics, sales, advertising and the media send a subtle or even blatant message that truth is relative, situational or interpretive. But what about issues related to addiction, betrayal, recovery and healing? Is telling the "whole" truth all the time really the "best" policy?…
 
Helen E. Fisher, PhD biological anthropologist, is a Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-ba…
 
Addiction and Betrayal Trauma both have a dramatic impact on the brain and the heart! And one of the primary barriers to our recovery and healing is our THINKING ERRORS! In this episode Mark and Steve give personal examples from their own lives about two BIG thinking errors—EMOTIONAL REASONING and the UNREAL IDEAL. You'll learn how these to thinkin…
 
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