show episodes
 
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married ...
 
Social Confidence Mastery is the #1 resource to help engineers, programmers, and developers to improve their social confidence so they can create more meaningful connections in their personal, romantic, and professional lives. Hosted by Myke Macapinlac, listeners will get actionable advice to help them build self-confidence, make new friends, and get more dates.
 
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show series
 
The holidays are a time for MAJOR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS—good and bad. In fact the Holidays are intended and designed to elicit intense emotions. These can be ignited by our internal or external environments. In this episode (part one of a 3-part holiday series) Mark and Steve get real about HOW to deal with holiday triggers in a healthy way— - Normali…
 
It's very natural and legitimate to have certain expectations in our marriage relationship. And we NEED healthy boundaries in order to make steady progress and attain and enjoy real CONNECTION. But what happens when our relationship expectations come into conflict with our individual recovery and healing boundaries? What happens when expected goals…
 
In their own addictions, recoveries and healing, and working with people all over the world, Mark and Steve have come to understand an "unholy triad" that decimates marriage: Pride; Shame; and Trauma. In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and real about how these three HUGE challenges can derail our most cherished relationships and how to begin mo…
 
In this episode, Cam Adair, Founder of Game Quitters, talks about how to quit playing video games. Go to https://gamequitters.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialconfiden…
 
With so many dominant influences from Hollywood, the mainstream media, pornography and the role models we were raised with, there's a LOT of confusion about what it really means to "man-up." It's NOT the "macho/sexual-prowess" stereotype the culture often tends to promote. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk open and real about their own experienc…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve come from a very heart-felt place in speaking to the women who may find themselves "stuck in the pain of Betrayal Trauma." This is actually a very common struggle for many in early or even ongoing healing and recovery. Mark and Steve discuss— - How the "grieving process" is a necessary part of facing pain and beginni…
 
In this episode, Myke Macapinlac, Founder of Social Confidence Mastery, talks about how to make friends as an adult. Go to https://socialconfidencemastery.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat …
 
Mark and Steve produced this episode in response to a PBSE listener's question— Hi Guys! Would it be possible to talk about entitlement in an episode? I feel like many men struggle with a sense of entitlement for sexual pleasure and/or being "serviced". I know for my husband and many of his friends, the belief is that if they aren't getting it from…
 
In this episode, Anson Wong, Social Confidence Mastery student, gives social tips for electrical engineers. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialconfidencemastery.com/cheatsheet 👉 Book your soci…
 
This episode starts with Mark and Steve getting super raw about how lying was a big part of their addiction years and early recovery. - There are MANY "layers of lies" that can be obvious or very subtle; active lies or passive ones. - Why do addicts tell lies? And why do spouses often have struggles being totally open and blunt about what they're f…
 
Mark and Steve get personal and talk about how, for much of their lives, they lived in "victim mode" and ran around spouting off cliches like, "I'm a realist," and "It is what it is," and "Things never change, so why bother?!" As CRAZY as it sounds, much of our TRUE POWER resides in this bold claim: "Acceptance is the answer to many of life's probl…
 
In this episode, Tripp Lanier, Host of The New Man Podcast and Author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous, talks about how to stop settling for less in life. Go to https://www.tripplanier.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Down…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal "God journeys"—how God operated in their lives BEFORE recovery and healing (crazy dysfunctional!)—and how their God relationships evolved in ways that literally "saved" their lives and marriages. Maybe in your individual and couple recovery and healing you could use a personal "…
 
When things have been going well for awhile in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing, there can be a temptation to relax the boundaries we've agreed to. This can also seem like a viable option when things are continuing to fall apart in the relationship. In either situation, experience tells us that the BEST chance your marriage has is wit…
 
In this episode, Jon Shanahan, Founder of The Kavalier, talks about how to buy high-quality clothes. Go to https://thekavalier.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialconfide…
 
We live in a culture that can easily tend to make physical/sexual attraction the "be all, end all," in marriage relationships. In this episode, Mark and Steve share their own raw and real marriage experiences in relation to this poignant and difficult topic: Sexual passion/attraction is a force that "acts upon us." On the other hand, "Love" is a fo…
 
Our most DIFFICULT conversations can also be the most CONNECTING! In this episode, Mark and Steve get raw and real about WHY we avoid difficult and uncomfortable conversations and HOW we can turn these situations into TRUE CONNECTION! If you're a couple where many or most of your hard conversations turn negative and divisive, this episode will help…
 
In this episode, Dr. Michael Pariser, Author of No More Mr. Nice Guy - The Hero's Journey, talks about how to cure nice guy syndrome. Go to https://www.drpariser.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence…
 
Porn addiction, Betrayal Trauma and other challenges can plunge us hopelessly into a seemingly perpetual pattern of Negative Relationship Patterns! This constant negativity wears us down until we can't see EVER having a happy, connected, fulfilled relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve speak from personal marriage experience, as well as year…
 
It's natural to avoid pain--that protection mechanism is built directly into the human brain. BUT, "pain avoidance" often creates and then feeds Addiction. And it can also keep us trapped in Betrayal Trauma. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about HOW to STOP avoiding pain and actually start Embracing and Learning from it! Perhaps pain is the so…
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve address the questions and concerns of one of the PBSE podcast listeners. As the spouse of an addict in recovery, this listener brings up the very legitimate concern— As a sexual addict in recovery, should my husband be having an "attraction and chemistry" toward other women? How can he possibly do this without crossi…
 
In this episode, Nicole Russo, Founder of Let's Get You, talks about how to improve your appearance. Go to https://www.letsgetyou.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialconf…
 
What happens when there is a "Pornography Addiction Relapse"? The Fallout of Relapse— For the Addict: Hopelessness, shame, resignation, apathy, "Eeyore mode"—emotional volatility and variability. For the Spouse: Often forced to be the absolver and confessor—she feels like she must set aside her pain to be there for him, or feel like she is insensit…
 
In this episode, Erika Flint, Founder of Cascade Hypnosis Center, talks about how to get rid of your disempowering beliefs. Go to https://cascadehypnosiscenter.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence c…
 
- Learn how to “let go” of Your Spouse’s Healing - Instead of focusing on what she is or is not doing—put all your energy into YOUR recovery. - You can’t “undo” trauma or “fix” your spouse. The best thing you CAN do is CHOOSE to break free from addiction. - The best chance to “save your marriage” is to work your own recovery! - Clear Setting AND Ad…
 
Addiction and Betrayal Trauma can easily plunge us into the "Victim Trap"! In this dark place, it is nearly impossible to progress on our paths of recovery and healing. In in episode which is "Part One," Mark and Steve discuss— - How being distracted by your "partner's stuff" and drained by his or her issues leaves you no energy to work on your own…
 
In this episode, Bill Ranshaw, Porn Recovery Expert, talks about how to stop watching porn for good. Go to https://www.billwilderment.org/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://social…
 
Two of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is: "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions— How do I regain her trust? The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in…
 
Discovering your spouse has a porn/sex addiction triggers Betrayal Trauma and SHATTERS trust! HOW can you ever get to the place where you can "trust him again"? Mark and Steve share insights from their own marriages and their experiences helping women and couples over the last 20 years— Validating your own PAIN is a crucial first step True empathy …
 
For any relationship to last and thrive, there must be "boundaries." This is especially true when you're dealing with Porn Addiction and Betrayal Trauma! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about "boundaries in the marriage relationship"— If we love each other, why do we need boundaries? Love shouldn't be restricted-right? WRONG! Love…
 
In this episode, Victoria Lioznyansky, Public Speaking Coach, talks about how to overcome your fear of public speaking. Go to https://www.byvictorial.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet…
 
This episode is "Part Two" of the interview with Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, who tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. In this second half of the interview, Todd talks about how he moved from "ME" in addiction to "WE" in real recovery—How to shift your attitude from "me-centered" to "we-centered" and build …
 
In this episode, Mark and Steve address an issue submitted by a PBSE listener— Hi Guys! My husband loves your podcast. It's the only he will listen to openly. I loved your topic today "Healthy Sex vs. Toxic Sex in Marriage." You talked about lust and I found that topic to be very relatable. Is it possible to discuss how lusting can cause issues in …
 
In this episode, Anita Kozlowski, Founder of Live With Power Training Institute, talks about how to overcome your shyness. Go to https://www.livewithpower.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat …
 
Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. Todd also talks about how being convinced from a young age that he had to "earn love," was a BIG part of what led him to and kept him trapped in addiction! Tune in next week for "Part Two"! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counse…
 
In this episode Mark and Steve openly discuss the differences between healthy and toxic sex in marriage— What are the differences between a healthy sex drive and a lust/fantasy focus in marriage? You can trigger the "addiction cycle" or the "connection cycle" through the sexual relationship in your marriage—which one do you want? What do you know i…
 
In this episode, Matthew Solomon, Author of Man School, talks about how to relate with women better. Go to https://www.coachwithmatthewsolomon.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https…
 
Mark and Steve know from personal experience and helping others, just how heavy, difficult, exhausting and discouraging addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing can be! In this episode they tackle this common issue head-on— - How you and your spouse can honor and embrace your pain and feelings without allowing them to derail your recovery and…
 
In this episode, Katya Morozova, Dating Coach, talks about how to develop emotional intelligence. Go to https://www.katyamorozova.me/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialconfi…
 
We live in a world where honesty is a steadily shrinking virtue! Many in politics, sales, advertising and the media send a subtle or even blatant message that truth is relative, situational or interpretive. But what about issues related to addiction, betrayal, recovery and healing? Is telling the "whole" truth all the time really the "best" policy?…
 
Addiction and Betrayal Trauma both have a dramatic impact on the brain and the heart! And one of the primary barriers to our recovery and healing is our THINKING ERRORS! In this episode Mark and Steve give personal examples from their own lives about two BIG thinking errors—EMOTIONAL REASONING and the UNREAL IDEAL. You'll learn how these to thinkin…
 
In this episode, Mark Sing, Host of The Unapologetic Man Podcast, talks about how to remove self-doubt. Go to https://coachmarksing.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialco…
 
If you want your marriage to truly be ALL that it can be, we HIGHLY recommend pulling out a chair for God at your marriage table. But that can be easier said than done! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk in-depth about HOW to build a marriage partnership with God— Addiction and betrayal can easily create a kind of "God-trauma" for each spouse ind…
 
The devastating pain and confusion caused by your husband's porn addiction can easily create a distance or wall between you and God. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the realities of Betrayal Trauma HOW you can "let go and let God"—which is NOT easy!— Marital Betrayal—WHY would God allow this to happen??? Manipulation and "Gaslighting" ma…
 
In this episode, Andrew Snavely, Founder of Primer Magazine, talks about how to stay productive during social distancing. Go to https://www.primermagazine.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat …
 
In the midst of your struggles with pornography, can you also have a relationship with God? Mark and Steve talk open and raw about their personal experience with this conflict. They offer some CRITICAL insights and a specific ASSIGNMENT that has helped them and their clients over the years. Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com Find out more a…
 
Mark and Steve come back to talk SUPER raw about even MORE marriage mistakes they and their clients have made--and HOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES! In this episode, learn even more from Mark and Steve— We're NOT Enemies—we're in this Together—Too often, marriage becomes "him vs. her" in a competition or battle! You CAN learn HOW…
 
In this episode, Pablo Rosario, Relationship Coach, talks about how to make friends on social media. Go to https://www.pablojrosario.com/ to find out more. For more instant access to future episodes, subscribe to the podcast for free from your mobile device, laptop, or desktop computer. 👉 Download your social confidence cheat sheet: https://socialc…
 
During their deep addiction years, Mark and Steve made all the marriage mistakes you can imagine! Now they offer you a great gift—the opportunity to LEARN from their MISTAKES! If they could go back in time knowing what they know now, here's what Mark and Steve would've done different in their MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP— During our courtship, I would've …
 
Mark and Steve get VERY raw and real about the struggles during their deep addiction years. Knowing what they know now—if they could go back in time, WHAT would they do different? Be open, honest and seek help WAY sooner vs. staying stuck in shame and secrecy! Face the PAIN and REAL underlying issues vs. believing it was all about the porn! Be open…
 
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