#110 - What to Do When People Make You Feel Left Out

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By Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, Vicki Tidwell Palmer, and LCSW. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

I’ve definitely felt left out, forgotten, or excluded… and I’m guessing you have, too. This episode, which was inspired by a listener’s question, is about what to do when you feel that way. I’ll do things a little differently this time! Using the question as a foundation, I’ll walk you through the 5-Step Boundary Solution Process. (Follow along with the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier.)

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #110:

  • Trying to figure out the “why” of someone who makes you feel left out is generally a distraction and a waste of time. You can only get the answer by asking them, and they may or may not tell the truth.
  • There are two options for how to stop the sort of situation that the listener has described: try to get the other person to change, or make your own changes.
  • People don’t “make” us feel left out (or anything else). Instead, it’s our own thoughts about the data that make us feel a certain way.
  • In this situation of feeling left out, you have two options for taking action: limit or stop contact with the person/people involved, or make a specific request of them.

Highlights from Episode #110:

  • Welcome to Episode #110! Vicki talks about the feeling of being left out, which is something we all go through. [00:39]
  • We hear the listener’s question that inspired this episode, as well as a quick recap of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier. [03:30]
  • Vicki talks about how the first step of the process applies to this situation. [07:50]
  • We hear how the second step works in Vicki’s example of feeling left out. [14:33]
  • The third step is to identify your power center. Vicki explains which of the four options fit. [17:27]
  • Vicki points out that the listener who asked today’s question has the power to make this situation stop. [26:40]
  • The fourth step is to take action based on what we’ve discovered. Vicki goes into depth about how this could work in this situation. [28:39]
  • Vicki chats about the fifth step, which is evaluating your results. [35:43]
  • We hear a quick recap of the points that Vicki has covered in today’s episode. [38:24]

Links and Resources:

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