#61 - 4 Reasons Why Arguing Perceptions is a Losing Battle

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By Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, Vicki Tidwell Palmer, and LCSW. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

In this episode Vicki talks about why arguing perceptions is almost always a losing battle. Perceptions are just opinions, and everyone has one. When we argue perceptions we forget that everyone has a right to theirs, and that two people can have exactly the same experience and perceive it completely differently. And the worst part is we often lose intimacy with others for the sake of being right, winning an argument, or simply proving out point.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #61:

  • Your opinions are your perceptions, so arguing about them is futile.
  • When arguing your perceptions, ask what do you hope to gain?
  • Life experiences, culture, and many other factors give us different perceptions than someone else might have about the same topic, event, or circumstance.
  • Having a conversation or discussion with another person on subjects you don’t agree on can help you learn about each other.
  • If your conversations or debates stop being fun, you may need to agree to disagree.

Highlights from Episode #61:

  • Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode about why arguing perceptions is a losing battle. [04:46]
  • There are 4 reasons why arguing perceptions is almost always a losing battle [05:16]
  • In relationships we bump up against other people’s opinions and perceptions, and this is where boundaries come into play. [09:26]
  • How arguing perceptions is related to problems with the listening boundary. [10:15]
  • The first reason why arguing perception is a losing battle is what's the point? What are you hoping to gain? [12:55]
  • The second reason arguing perceptions is a losing battle is that both of your perceptions may be correct. [15:02]
  • The third reason is you risk losing intimacy with the other person. [19:58]
  • The fourth reason arguing perceptions is a losing battle is because people tend to become even more attached to their opinions when they have to defend them. [23:42]
  • What to do when you think someone is lying but they say they're not. [25:34]
  • When parenting children, if you have a difference of perception than your spouse about parenting, ideally you need to come an agreement that both of you can live with. [28:46]
  • If discussions stop being fun it might be time to disagree, rather than become disagreeable. [30:40]

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