#72 - Are There Different "Boundaries Rules" for Loved Ones?


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By Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, Vicki Tidwell Palmer, and LCSW. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Have you ever thought that boundary work is different with loved ones? If so, this episode is for you! Even in my own family, some people expected family members to do certain things that they would never expect from anyone else, just because we were family. Today’s episode will dig into whether there are different rules for boundaries with family or loved ones than with everyone else.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #72:

  • Some people behave as if being family exempts a person from being kind, thoughtful, or respectful. But people don’t get a pass just because they happen to be close to you.
  • You absolutely have a right to set limits and boundaries with family members and loved ones, and to say “no” to them. All of the "boundaries rules" throughout every episode of this podcast applies to family members too.
  • If you grew up in an enmeshed family system, you will likely find it challenging to set boundaries. You may have learned that you don’t have a right to set limits with your family.
  • Those who love you will accept your limits, even when they may have wanted something different from you.

Highlights from Episode #72:

  • Welcome to the podcast! Today’s episode will explore whether boundary work is different with loved ones or family members. [00:39]
  • Vicki shares the question from a listener that prompted her to record this episode. [02:31]
  • We hear a quick review of some of the skills that Vicki has talked about in two prior episodes: 46: Boundaries Quick Tips: Are You Open to Feedback? and 65: Giving Unsolicited Advice, Take 2. [04:54]
  • Do we have a right to set limits with family members? [10:31]
  • Most people feel terrified to set limits with family members and loved ones. Don’t worry; that’s normal! Vicki offers a way to feel more courageous around this topic. [15:43]
  • Vicki recaps the points that she has covered in today’s episode. [17:58]

Links and Resources:

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