Manage episode 264582963 series 2624494
By Bonnie Kelly. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Are you holding onto a grudge? Is there something you would love to let go but don't know how? Forgiveness isn't easy, but it is essential for your life. If you don't learn to forgive, your anger can start to consume you in an unhealthy way. Everyone experiences trauma on some level, and forgiveness is universal in that way. It is not the same for everyone, but it is present in everyone's lives. You may also think that forgiveness is for other people. However, forgiveness is really a gift for yourself to let go of the toxic emotions associated with your trauma. And even though you forgive people, it doesn't mean they are off the hook. You can still hold people accountable even if you forgive them for their bad behaviors.

Often we also want the other party to apologize for their wrongdoing. However, this is not always going to happen, and we have to learn to still forgive without getting that closure from them.

There are many steps to learning to forgive, and it is an ongoing practice. You must choose to forgive many times over before it ever really elicits a feeling. The first step you must take is expressing your emotional state in its rawest and purest form in a responsible manner. This means having a journal or piece of paper to put all your ugly thoughts and feelings onto. You must relieve yourself of all that grief to allow yourself to move on. This leads to the next step of finding why you are holding back from forgiving - you have to find out why you are afraid to forgive them. Then, you can find meaning in the pain and consciously choose to forgive and let go.

In This Episode:

  • [3:57] Intro to forgiveness
  • [7:05] Forgiveness for yourself
  • [11:00] Forgiving while holding others accountable
  • [13:03] Steps to forgive
  • [20:09] What are you afraid of?
  • [22:22] Finding meaning in the pain
  • [29:40] Dimensions of forgiveness

Joy Filling Quotes:

  • “Forgiveness is messy.”
  • “Forgiveness at any dimension, at any degree, is worth the work.”
  • "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person is going to die."
  • "Now, let's choose peace."
  • “Forgiveness is something you have to feel through.”



Rebels University:

Forgiveness Letter:

5 Day Triple Your Joy Challenge:


IG Personals: & @JillianBolanz

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72 episodes