Manage episode 284558658 series 1412085
Welcome to part 4 (of 6) of our Bulletproof Radio Sexual Energy Series! We’re bringing you lots of new information about sexual health, wellness, research, devices, and performance. We’re combining that with special offers, discounts and all kinds of resources on the Dave Asprey blog. Be sure to scan the show notes below for details!
In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, my guest is Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., one of the leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog “Sex and Psychology.” He’s been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve.
He’s also a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute who’s published more than 50 academic works on topics like casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits.
“Sexuality is so much more complex than we think that it is,” Justin says. “There's more fluidity than people might realize or like to believe.”
His popular book, “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life,” is based on the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans' sexual fantasies ever undertaken.
“People tend to think that their fantasies are weird, abnormal, strange, or unusual,” Justin says. “No matter what their fantasy was, my participants underestimated how common that fantasy was. The rarer they thought it was, the more shame, guilt, embarrassment, anxiety they felt, and that's really what holds people back. They're worried about what other people will say or think, and they don't accept themselves for the interest that they have.”
Justin studied the sexual fantasies of 4,175 Americans who came from all 50 states. They ranged in age from 18 to 87, come from very diverse backgrounds and completed his 369-question survey. His work helps us better understand the incredible diversity of human sexual desire.
“I think so much of it is, we have this lack of education about what's normal when it comes to sex,” he continues. “That leads to the shame and that leads people to bottle everything up. Before you can get to that point of actually sharing your fantasy with a partner, there's some work that we need to do on ourselves to get that level of self-acceptance that's going to open the door to having productive and healthy conversations.”
And there are a couple of apps for sexual fantasies that could help, too.
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