Mark Manson: The Subtle Art Of Connecting With Your Emotional Brain, Seeing Yourself With Honesty and Vulnerability, And Connecting The Emotional Brain With The Rational Brain

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By Brad Kearns. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

What an incredible honor and memorable experience to connect with the worldwide #1 bestselling author Mark Manson, author of the runaway sensation The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*&k, which has now sold over 12 million copies worldwide and been translated into dozens of languages. Mark also wrote a brilliant follow up book called Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope and produced a creative audio project for Audible.com called Love Is Not Enough, where he coaches a handful of people immersed in relationship struggles.

In this wide-ranging conversation, we discuss Mark’s observation at the end of Love Is Not Enough that relationships success is super simple, we just make it complex and full of pain and suffering ― likely relating to replaying flawed childhood programming or lacking self-awareness. Mark discusses the important first step of acknowledging your weaknesses or blind spots, perhaps with the help of friends, family or experts. We discuss the profound assertion framing the message of Subtle Art that we should, “maintain an identity that is defined by as little as possible, instead seeing your life as a series of decisions and actions.”

Mark describes how emotion, even negative emotions like fear, can be powerful catalysts to take action and repeat the action until it becomes habit. He describes his present difficulty with keeping to his workout schedule during quarantine. Mark details the insight in Everything Is F*ucked that the emotional brain actually rules over the logical brain, and how the logical brain convinces us to think otherwise. To avoid “persistent low level narcissism” that seems to be our collective ― default state these days, we must develop healthy communication and interaction between our emotions and logic. Mark also reveals how the unexpected runaway success of his first book caused him to lose his way for a while to the point of feeling depressed and unmotivated for around a year, and how his recalibration helped him develop the theme of the second book to make life all about “creating a string of hope narratives.” Enjoy this valuable and deeply reflective show from one of the leading modern philosophers and top authors. Order both of Mark’s bestselling books here so you can get up to speed!

TIMESTAMPS:

Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough. [12:06]

It is simple to break up with someone, but we make it difficult. [13:10]

When an athlete retires, it is like an identity crisis. [14:45]

To function well in a relationship, get your emotional health in order. [18:37]

Recognize your own pattern and what gets triggered. [22:29]

Therapists are taught to be very careful about inserting their own ideas in a session. They want you to find your way yourself. [26:37]

Being very analytical can be a problem. [31:35]

There are two brains…the thinking brain and the feeling brain and they are not good at talking to each other. [34:51]

What are some parameters to keep us away from the narcissism that comes as a result? [37:33]

Stress is our body’s call to action. [41:18]

Some people respond better to positive reinforcement and some people respond better to the negative. [44:35]

When Mark’s book took off in popularity, he had a difficult time adjusting. [50:53]

LINKS:

QUOTES:

  • “Maintain an identity that is defined by as little as possible, instead seeing your life as a series of decisions and actions.”
  • “It’s important to recognize patterns within yourself.”
  • “When you get your emotional health in order, the outward stuff starts to take care of itself.”
  • “You can’t control the outcome, but you can control how you handle it.”
  • “There are two brains…the thinking brain and the feeling brain and they are not good at talking to each other.”

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215 episodes