TPJ 91: What To Do When Your Kids Use Inappropriate Language


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By Avital Schreiber Levy. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

In this episode I’ll be addressing a question from a member of our Present Play community.

Tracy from Georgia asked what to do when your children use rude or inappropriate language, and also how to address their negative self-talk.

Thank you for your question Tracy! You are certainly not alone in this struggle. All parents are presented with these challenges (including myself).

There are a few ways to go about it, but I'd like to talk about my preferred approach.

[04:59] Keep in mind: Childhood development is a slow process. Changes are gradual and it takes time, repetition, and consistency.

[06:22] Typical approach #1: Authoritarian Approach

[09:02] Typical approach #2: Permissive Approach

[11:20] 3rd option: Be calm but firm and address the situation.

[12:16] We have to be responsive to the situation, but not reactive.

[12:30] Step 1: Pause, breathe, and calm yourself down. Then state clearly and calmly to yourself and your child what you DO want to see.

[13:23] Say to yourself "I will respond when I've gathered myself and collected my thoughts."

[15:14] Step 2: Calmly explain what will happen if they continue. Just a logical consequence for continuing.

[17:00] It's not a threat or punishment. We're trying to teach them what the results of certain behaviors are.

[17:34] Step 3: Follow through immediately.

[21:13] How to address a child's negative self talk.

[22:38] Center yourself. This is a normal part of childhood and every child needs to work through it.

[25:22] Help them focus on the right things.

[25:53] We're trying to teach our children what advances their agenda and what takes away from it.

[30:36] The energy at which we have these interactions is the most important factor.

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103 episodes