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Sure Thing

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Sure Thing

Andrew Wolfe & Josh Armstrong

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This is a financial comedy podcast with Andrew Wolfe and Josh Armstrong. Sure Thing is fiction. Sure Thing is not a source of legitimate financial advice. You should consider seeking independent legal, financial, taxation or other advice from anybody else. http://surething.money
 
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We've spent the last day digging a grave for ourselves and for you. This episode is a true car crash - curly dick and his robotic friend are finally in together in person. The thin veil of sobriety burns away around 1:20. Play quickdraw with a murderer, make no noise during sex and remember, it's not phobic because you aren't afraid of anything. ht…
 
Is there a Doctor onboard? Paying for sad dates with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles credit card and screaming as we leave the runway. Alan Watts said it couldn't be done, but if you throw your parents under the bus you might just be able to get away with insider trading. Expressing the breast milk for your new ice cream business - leave one in the …
 
We've only just gotten patched in and we're already having microsleeps on our big boy bikes. Set off the fireworks cos it's the first episode of a New Year featuring fresh opportunities to invest in a babychino direct from the almond's Double Fucken' Ds, a couple sniffs of the worst Darren Sadblokes your X-Defacto's ever heard and one of us works r…
 
Knock-knock, I'm with Australian Solar Implants - can you spare a minute to jam this in your head? Christmas is around the corner, you asked for Cape Town and you're getting the Cape Town Flats. Try escape without getting your hand bitten off, or stand your ground, take off your shoes and fling an egg into the face of every alternative medicine pra…
 
Evicted from the house and eliminated from the island, Wolfey talks about not getting let on this season of Big Brother. The producers say the psych evaluation is bad and we've tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis after years of being being punched in the face. You are the secondary character, smashing your kids' piggy bank for more IKEA hotdog…
 
A piercing ring echoes out through the night, a howling rhythmic scream that serves as backdrop to the visage of the boys danger dancing with ASIC. Your DNA is on file and the dogs can smell your hereditary predisposition for failure. Doomed to repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, you must trash your loved ones to beat the HFT shorts. The treasur…
 
Watt's happening, Folks? It's that time of the night - put your hands together and welcome Chicken Liver to the stage for the last time, closing out by leveraging Jesus for a final performance before returning to the void on the way home. This week's corporate retreat is a delight for the senses sure to create a few exes. Leave your wife at home, s…
 
Spit into the mirror but never reflect long enough to remember that you're the root of all your problems. Reach nirvana with the power of shadenfreudening your own position, even a giant sweater can come apart by tugging on a single thread for long enough. Deputy Wolfey finally diversifies, Josh liquidates his feelings. Identifying the scams runnin…
 
Clean all the sand you dirty little snail, the locusts are here - it's not a beautiful mind and you're not John Forbes Nash, it's a disgusting nightmare, you're John Forbes' Gash and you're forever trapped behind the glass, staring out at a room full of people you respect laughing directly into your stupid snail face. We are screaming downwards tod…
 
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