EP227 - Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex with Dr. Ian Kerner


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By Nazanin Moali, Ph.D., Dr. Nazanin Moali, and Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Welcome to episode 227 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome back Dr. Ian Kerner to the podcast. In this episode, Dr. Kerner talks to me about his new book; So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives, overcoming psychological sexual rigidity, expanding into verbal foreplay and ways you can bring new sexual ideas to your partner.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author She Comes First (Harper Collins), which has been translated into more than a dozen languages. He regularly consults for articles in major publications such as The Atlantic and The Economist, and he also writes on the topic of sex for CNN Health.

He is the co-director of the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, one of New York's oldest and most respected not-for-profit mental health training and treatment facilities. In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and he is also a member of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR) and The American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA). Ian was born and raised in New York City, where he maintains a private practice and lives with his wife and two sons, and their beloved dogs, Jitterbug and Oscar.

In this episode, you will hear:

  • How many couples can’t remember when asked, when the last time they had sex was
  • Can sexual chemistry be created if there’s never been much attraction?
  • Looking at psychological sexual rigidity
  • Learning to adapt and change your erotic template
  • The need to have good foreplay to allow for better sex
  • Expanding into verbal foreplay
  • Not setting yourself unrealistic expectations
  • How our busy lives effects our sexual well-being
  • Ways you can bring new sexual ideas to your partner
  • Understanding not to give up straight away and give things time
  • Knowing these issues are common and something everyone struggles with

Find Dr. Ian Kerner Online


Free Masterclass


In this Masterclass we will

  • Define “Boredom” as it relates to your Intimate Life

We will explain the latest research findings on boredom in the bedroom as, more often than not, it is not as simple as feeling tired of monotonous routine.

  • Identify the main source of intimacy dissatisfaction in your relationship

We will first discuss the most common causes of intimacy dissatisfaction in relationships and then explore the roots of these issues.

  • Tackle your specific intimacy challenges

We will guide and walk you through addressing identified problems and explore the most effective ways to improve connection with your partner.


We have 5 copies of Dr Kerner’s new book to giveaway! To enter the competition and win a copy, simply subscribe to Sexology Podcast, write a review on iTunes, Stitcher etc and send a screenshot of the review to - https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast/.

Winners will be announced on our email newsletter on May 11th, 2021.

Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio

253 episodes